Growing up particularly in a religious family, and society you’re told or maybe unconsciously told to downplay your achievements, be humble, and that seeps into our mentality as we advance in career and in life. As my friend will say, “My dear, toot your horn!!”
Do you ever feel like a fraud sometimes? Like you don’t deserve certain things or people you have in your life right now or that you are undeserving of all the things that you have accomplished so far.
Sometimes you just doubt yourself and feel like you’re not good enough.
If so, then welcome! You are officially one of us. This feeling is known as ‘impostor syndrome’, ‘impostor phenomenon’ or ‘fraud syndrome’.
What is Impostor syndrome you may ask? Well, I feel it every time I want to make big decisions, I get scared that I’m not good enough, that my writing will not be accepted.
Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern in which one doubts one’s accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved.
This psychological phenomenon reflects a belief that you’re an inadequate and incompetent failure despite evidence that indicates you’re skilled and quite successful.
According to Valerie Young, an Educator and author of “The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, “…it is common among high achievers, creative people and students.” Research however shows that impostor syndrome is not gender specific as it battles all sexes.
So what made me want to write about this, why didn’t I write it any sooner? Well, better late than never right? I also learnt a new mantra from a friend ‘Done is better than perfect’ so here I am, doing.
Here’s a practical tip on how I got over my impostor syndrome.
I attended a Google event sometime last month, and we had a session tagged ‘I am Remarkable’. You see I am remarkable is a Google initiative empowering women and underrepresented groups to celebrate their achievements in the workplace and beyond.
At this event, the facilitator gave us a task after telling us what the session was about and this task in my opinion was quite therapeutic. I suddenly felt more confident, emotional because I actually cried and it brought a huge smile to my face afterward. I kid you not, if you decide to do this you will thank me for it. He told us to write down five (5) reasons why we think We Are Remarkable.
So now I’m telling you, if you’ve ever doubted yourself or constantly doubt yourself, if you’ve forgotten why you’re badass, if you know you do amazing work, or if you recall whatever you do or are that makes you remarkable, go ahead and write it down.
It doesn’t have to be some superhero saving-the-universe-from-aliens-type-of-thing, it could be as simple as ‘I am remarkable because I genuinely care for people in my life, or I’m a good sister, I’m a good writer. Anything that ticks the box of remarkability for you and then I suggest that you confess it daily or weekly because I’m learning at church that whatever you say constantly to yourself, is eventually what you become.
Anytime you feel unsure of yourself or doubt yourself, write down why you are remarkable, write as much as you can remember. There are tons of other things you will find that helps with impostor syndrome on the internet but this is what I chose because I experienced it first hand and it worked for me.
Now, enough of all this serious talk, How have you been? Did you miss me? Well, let’s go off in the comments section.