Growing up
particularly in a religious family, and society you’re told or maybe unconsciously
told to downplay your achievements, be humble, and that seeps into our
mentality as we advance in career and in life. As my friend will say, “My dear,
toot your horn!!”
Do you ever feel
like a fraud sometimes? Like you don’t deserve certain things or people you
have in your life right now or that you are undeserving of all the things that
you have accomplished so far.
Sometimes
you just doubt yourself and feel like you’re not good enough.
If so, then
welcome! You are officially one of us. This feeling is known as ‘impostor
syndrome’, ‘impostor phenomenon’ or ‘fraud syndrome’.
What is
Impostor syndrome you may ask? Well, I feel it every time I want to make big
decisions, I get scared that I’m not good enough, that my writing will not be
accepted.
Impostor
syndrome is a psychological pattern in which one doubts one’s accomplishments
and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. Despite
external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon
remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have
achieved.
This
psychological phenomenon reflects a belief that you’re an inadequate and
incompetent failure despite evidence that indicates you’re skilled and quite
successful.
According to
Valerie Young, an Educator and author of “The Secret Thoughts of Successful
Women, “…it is common among high achievers, creative people and students.”
Research however shows that impostor syndrome is not gender specific as it
battles all sexes.
So what made
me want to write about this, why didn’t I write it any sooner? Well, better
late than never right? I also learnt a new mantra from a friend ‘Done is better
than perfect’ so here I am, doing.
Here’s a
practical tip on how I got over my impostor syndrome.
I attended a
Google event sometime last month, and we had a session tagged ‘I am Remarkable’.
You see I am remarkable is a Google initiative empowering women and underrepresented
groups to celebrate their achievements in the workplace and beyond.
At this
event, the facilitator gave us a task after telling us what the session was
about and this task in my opinion was quite therapeutic. I suddenly felt more
confident, emotional because I actually cried and it brought a huge smile to my
face afterward. I kid you not, if you decide to do this you will thank me for it.
He told us to write down five (5)
reasons why we think We Are Remarkable.
So now I’m
telling you, if you’ve ever doubted yourself or constantly doubt yourself, if
you’ve forgotten why you’re badass, if you know you do amazing work, or if you
recall whatever you do or are that makes you remarkable, go ahead and write it
down.
It doesn’t have
to be some superhero saving-the-universe-from-aliens-type-of-thing, it could be
as simple as ‘I am remarkable because I genuinely care for people in my life,
or I’m a good sister, I’m a good writer. Anything that ticks the box of
remarkability for you and then I suggest that you confess it daily or weekly
because I’m learning at church that whatever you say constantly to yourself, is
eventually what you become.
Anytime you
feel unsure of yourself or doubt yourself, write down why you are remarkable,
write as much as you can remember. There are tons of other things you will find
that helps with impostor syndrome on the internet but this is what I chose
because I experienced it first hand and it worked for me.
Now, enough
of all this serious talk, How have you been? Did you miss me? Well, let’s go
off in the comments section.
